It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Even my vagina gasped.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
