I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
