You work out of a Hotel?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
