What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
