yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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