I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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