I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
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