your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
