i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
