well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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