Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
