oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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