If that was your dad, he is hot
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
