Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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