We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
