But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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