He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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