So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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