So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
