Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
