Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
