either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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