im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize
