No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
