he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
