The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
