We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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