FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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