Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
