Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
i've created a new STD.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
