bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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