He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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