ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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