she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
