Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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