I hate your face
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Randomize
