If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
