I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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