Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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