No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
