so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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