Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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