Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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