remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
