You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
