have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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