did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
