Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
