So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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