Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
