Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
