Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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