you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
