is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
