There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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