i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
try to milk me bitch
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
