I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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