you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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