i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
