as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
