I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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