hotel room ftw
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
