hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
