He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Randomize