Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
