I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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