just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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